Scripture Reading: Acts 17:27-28
Have you ever been outside in the summer, with the sun blazing down and an eyefull of bright light washing your day in glory? What happens when you walk inside? You are instantly blinded, stumbling around, running into things, and feeling helpless. It takes a while before you are able to adjust to the indoor lighting and find what you needed.
That is the pattern of my story, in a way. I was born into a cozy Christian home, homeschooled, brought up in church, and drenched in good stuff. Even as a young girl I took both an intellectual and a heart interest in spirituality and the presence of God among us. That was the blazing glory of the light on a sunlit day. That fire carried on for a long time, into college.
But after a while, I began to question things. After some sort of emotionally traumatizing things happened in college, I began to wonder why I had never encountered some of the difficult questions. I began to doubt that my faith, or even my religion, was big enough to answer all of the large, imminent questions that I was asking of it. I felt that the “rose-colored glasses” had been stripped off, and that the thing I had spent so much of my life pursuing was, perhaps, a misunderstanding. “Why is it so hard? Why do I only hear the cookie-cutter responses to the real answers I need about the way the world works? Why does God seem so small?”
In the midst of this time I was experiencing incredibly deep spiritual connections to myself and to the world around me, and didn’t know if Christianity was the answer. I didn’t know where to turn, and the memories of intense intimacy, that I had experienced so many times with the God of Christianity, were hard to remember in those times.
But something inside my heart held on to those moments. Something inside was just waiting to me awakened by not just truth, but love in truth. By something very real, very imminent, very big.
It actually took me a long time to heal from that doubt, but simply laughing with people, appreciating them for who they were, having empathy with the way that they experienced God–there were the small yet constant ways that God was showing me that HE is the Spirit breathing through the world. So many incredibly vital conversations with my best friend (who has turned out to be my husband, praise the Lord) showed me that there is hope, there is a future, and that God is not far from each one of us.
That’s why I’ve chosen this slightly unorthodox verse for my “life verse.” Because it reminds me that God is truly not far from each one of us. He is in the air around us, He is the love between us, He is the reason we live, and move, and have our being. From Him and to Him be all the glory for now and forever! Amen.
I groped around for a while looking for the truth. Then I gave up on it at all. And now I have come to realize that I know very, very little about Him. I don’t uderstand anything. But He has given us shreds of truth, in the bite-sizes that we can understand for the time being. But there is always more out there, and that is why I love to seek the patterns of the earth to see where He turns up. Because….He is not far from each one of us. And we are meant to find Him.
Post by: Elizabeth